“What would I do if a bear ate you now?!”

Bill and I had been married for all of 3 days when we had an encounter with nature that revealed my insecurity to my new husband and has given him fodder for teasing over the years. We were enjoying our honeymoon in the wilderness of Alaska. We had arrived at the hunting lodge/honeymoon suite via float plane and had spent the morning rowing across the lake. After docking the boat, my new husband and I were hiking up the hillside to enjoy one of the spectacular views Alaska has to offer. Bill found a wild berry patch and had stopped for a “snack.” Being a city girl, and being well aware of the “bear stories form Alaska” I was concerned we would meet up with such a creature – especially in a berry patch! I mentioned my concerns to Bill (“Let’s go back, Bill, please?”), who brushed them off as being irrational. When we spotted some fresh droppings I just “knew” were bear, I was panicked. In my irrational fear I tried to appeal to his inner call to protect me – “Bill, we’ve only been married for 3 days! What would I do if a bear ate you now!?” His response was typical Bill – “What makes you think the bear would eat me?” I finally whined enough that he gave in and we returned to the boat and rowed back to our “safe” lodge.

34 years later I am faced with another “What would I do if a bear ate you now?” situation. Bill has cancer. It’s a bear of a disease that rears its ugly presence in many people’s lives and to varying degrees. Sometimes it just creeps up on you as you are snacking on the berries of life. My healthy racquetball-playing husband is in great physical shape – most folks don’t realize he is 60 years old! He doesn’t feel bad and isn’t sick. I am the one that is always coming down with colds, flu, whatever bug is in the area. Bill seems to avoid all of those! He is faithful about getting yearly physicals and, other than a few medications to control minor abnormalities, he really is in great shape. When his PSA count came back a bit elevated in August, the doctor wanted to have a biopsy of his prostate. Are these “bear droppings” near our berry patch? “Please Bill, can’t we go back?” Bill had the biopsy done and the results came back – positive for cancer. Wow – I didn’t expect that.

A huge advantage I have now that I didn’t have 34 years ago is a long relationship with The Lord, the creator of all life. I have walked with the Lord and he has proven over and over again how faithful he is – every day and in all times. My days have not been all wine and roses, but my joy is in the Lord, not in my circumstances. I know that God is using all the circumstances in my life to grow me into his child. He is teaching me about himself and his sufficiency in all of life – bears and all.

My husband has cancer. It is not a path I would have chosen for us to walk down, but it is with unwavering faith given by God that I know we do not walk it alone. We have each other, wonderful doctors, good insurance, work places that can work with us, loving and supportive family and friends. But most importantly we have Jehovah Jirah walking before us, beside us and behind us. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord….to give you a future and a hope.” We put our days in the Lord’s hands. I know he will be able to conquer all the bears in our path!

As I signed on to read blogs today, my sister Molly's writing really struck my heart. I had forgotten the significance of today until I read her message. I hope she won't mind if I copy it here:
Today would have been my Mom's 82nd birthday. As my sister reminds me: "She has been gone a staggering 14 years (I can't believe it has been that long). Before she got sick at the young age of 45, she was athletic, a golfer, a tennis player, a leader in the Girl Scouts. She raised 5 daughters. I use to be amazed at the thought that she used a whole loaf of bread to make our lunches. My mom was one of the strongest, most persistent people I have ever met." I was 15 when my mom was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. She eventually passed away from complications from that disease. I was 37. I watched her struggle at times with her health, but she always seemed to have such a positive outlook that nothing would deter her from living a full life. She spent the last few years of her life in a wheel chair, but could still draw a smile from all those that knew her. Her grand kids loved to 'ride with grandma on her wheel chair'. :-) She didn't like having all the health problems, but that didn't seem to discourage her. She just kept on going.... kind of like the energizer bunny. :-) That was my mom. I hope I am 1/2 the woman she was.

I think each of my sisters would probably say much the same about our mom. She really was an amazing woman. I know her faith in God and assurance of her future kept her going until the end. I remember she faced many challenges in her life with, "Okay, what are we going to do about this? How can we make it better, or at least livable?" I loved the times Bill and I could visit with her. I enjoyed so much making us coffee and sitting with her in her room talking. I would prop my cold feet under the side of her bed to warm up (her house was so cold!), and we would just chat. Even though she's been gone so many years, I still wish I could call her up and talk at times. Happy birthday, Mom. :-)